we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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