I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
In other news, I just burned my penis
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
