i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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