Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Randomize
