Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
Randomize