I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
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