Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
