Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
if i died would you start the facebook group?
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
