Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
How's work?
Spinning.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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