So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
