I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
So many bounce houses so little time
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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