i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Randomize
