I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
