Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
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