no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
