my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
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