Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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