How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Randomize
