she was so not down for the gang bang
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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