Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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