No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
