Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
they need to just BURY HIM!
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Randomize
