He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
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