My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Sponge bath it is.
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
