hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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