sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
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