WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Randomize
