Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
and you fell through a lawn chair
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Randomize
