Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
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