Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize
