This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
