I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
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