so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
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