I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
Randomize
