It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Randomize
