Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
A bitchslap is in order.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
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