i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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