you would pick up someone in the library
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Randomize
