we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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