We won't sleep together?
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Randomize
