Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Randomize