their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
