She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
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