Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Randomize
