I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
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