I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
