SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Randomize
