You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Randomize
