this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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