put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Randomize
