she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
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