If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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